Life With Althaar

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42Episodes

An epic science-fiction sitcom for your ears about an unlikely human/alien friendship in the unluckiest place in Human space.

It is the mid-26th Century. John B, a humble repairman and ”former human” (having lost his legal status as such), has left the Earth for mysterious reasons. He is perhaps the unluckiest being in Human space.

He has wound up at the Human Exchange Concourse, or the ”HEC,” once the site of Humanity’s First Galactic Fair. It was the biggest flop in Human history. ”The Fairgrounds” is perhaps the unluckiest place in Human space. You don’t go there, you end up there.

John’s luck seems to have changed when he gets a good apartment at an amazingly reasonable price only to find his roommate is Althaar, an Iltorian, who is determined to befriend a Human. (Iltorians are the kindest, nicest species in all known space, and natural diplomats, beloved by almost all, but their slightest presence causes Humans to instinctively respond with panic, fear, disgust, nausea, and loss of bodily functions).

Can a Human and Iltorian live together without one of them driving the other crazy?

What, No New Episode? Another Word from Ian & Berit

October 22, 2021

Once again, there is a delay in the release of the next episode of Life With Althaar.

Sorry about that, listeners.

Ian & Berit have some words on the subject here, with the help of some unexpected visitors to the Gemini CollisionWorks Radiophonic Workshop.

Episode 34 will be out and in your ears as soon as we can finish it to our standards.

Thank you for understanding, and as always, for your attention; it is a pleasure working for you,

Ian W. Hill & Berit Johnson

GEMINI COLLISIONWORKS

Episode 33: Two Plants and a Booster

October 8, 2021

In which John B finds himself in apparent danger, and for once, it's actually unexpected. Dinorbiax and Fracottiverx, the strange-talking Fugulnari enforcers, have dragged him into an interrogation room to discuss some of his recent behavior, which, despite John's actions as a double-agent for the Resistance, are mostly explainable. Mostly. Meanwhile, life goes on at The Fairgrounds, as thought is given by Dee and Xtopps to future plans for after the conflict is over (one way or another), Stella and H.F. consider a rescue mission, Frall and Torianna discuss garbage and less-appealing things, and Frondrinax, in an attempt to distract Althaar from John B's unavailability, challenges the Iltorian to a little game of pool.

EPISODE THIRTY-THREE

“Two Plants and a Booster“

written by Ian W. Hill

featuring

John Amir as John B

Eli Ganias as Hardyfox "H.F." Fornes

Amanda LaPergola as Mrs. Frondrinax

Berit Johnson as Althaar, Sopon, Kwontz, Alien Barfly, Cpl. Ness

Zuri Washington as Delilah "Dee" Mallory

Derrick Peterson as Xtopps

Ivanna Cullinan as Commander Mindy Torianna

Alyssa Simon as Lieutenant-Commander Frallen-Br'ar

Chris Lee as Chip Frinkel

with

Clara Francesca: Dinorbiax

Leila Okafor: Fracottiverx

Ian W. Hill: Announcer, Alien Shrimps Vendor

Anna Stefanic: Stella Reyes

Fred Backus: Oakensarx

Philip Cruise: Cpl. Dormer

Lex Friedman: Bubbles, Elevator Voice

Linus Gelber: Foog Observer

Berit is the supervising producer, showrunner, and script supervisor

Ian is the audio producer, sound designer, and technical supervisor

The writers’ room consists of Berit, Ian, John, Amanda, Chris, Philip, Lex, and Linus

Theme and Interstitial Music composed and performed by Anna Stefanic

Illustration by Dean Haspiel

Library Music and SFX licensed from Storyblocks

WEB: www.geminicollisionworks.com

TWITTER: @AlthaarTweeting ‏and @LifeWithAlthaar

Optimized for best listening on earbuds or headphones.

EPISODE SCRIPT HERE!

Thank you for your attention; it is a pleasure working for you.

A Gemini CollisionWorks Production

Midseason Check-In with Ian & Berit - No New Episode This Week

September 24, 2021

In which Ian & Berit, the co-creators of LIFE WITH ALTHAAR announce the postponement of episode 33, and make a polite request for donations (and tell you how to do that).

So, as announced in the audio here, for those who didn't find out on social media last week, episode 33 of Life With Althaar - "Two Plants and a Booster" - will be uploaded on October 8, 2021.

And also, we would very much appreciate donations to the company, if it is possible for you, as also discussed in the audio.

Here's an update on where to do that, and all the other places we can be found online:

DONATE through our Podbean Patron

DONATE through Fractured Atlas (tax deductible in the USA)

BUY MERCH from us at TeePublic

READ us on Twitter

LOOK at us on Instagram

READ and LOOK at us on Tumblr

And for that matter, on Reddit

GET UPDATES from us on Facebook

and

READ Althaar's Own Personal Messages on Twitter!

Sorry for the delay in the series, but we'll be back soon enough, and things will be heating up a great deal when we are.

Until then, as always...

Thank you for your attention; it is a pleasure working for you.

Ian W. Hill & Berit Johnson

GEMINI COLLISIONWORKS

photo by Kent Meister, 2016

Episode 32: Luck of the Drew

September 10, 2021

In which we meet Drew, who is full of hate. Drew hates the Fugulnari, with very good reason. Drew hates John B, for what appears to be good reason. Drew is full of hate because he has had his love taken away from him, and is now on a journey of revenge and discovery across the Fairgrounds that might be far more dangerous to his allies than to their common enemy.

EPISODE THIRTY-TWO

“Luck of the Drew“

written by Linus Gelber

featuring

Eli Ganias as Hardyfox "H.F." Fornes, Glottulix, Ward

Derrick Peterson as Xtopps, HECNET Customer Service, Soothing PSA Narrator

Zuri Washington as Delilah "Dee" Mallory, Rooty

Amanda LaPergola as Mrs. Frondrinax, Vert, Angry Crowd Person

Berit Johnson as Althaar, Sopon, Kwontz, Alien Barfly, Comrade, Bridge Person

Chris Lee as Chip Frinkel

John Amir as John B, Happy Vendor

Alyssa Simon as Lieutenant-Commander Frallen-Br'ar

Ivanna Cullinan as Commander Mindy Torianna

with

Linus Gelber: Drew, StalinBot, Bridge Person’s Friend

Philip Cruise: Christopher WalkenBot, Dazed and Confused Zood

Ian W. Hill: Announcer, Booster Observer 1, Curious Shopper, Larry

Fred Backus: Oakensarx, Booster Observer 2

Lex Friedman: Bubbles, June, Console Voice, Gate Guard

David Arthur Bachrach: Nearby Merchant

Anna Stefanic: Stella Reyes, Checkpoint Guard

Olivia Baseman: Amber on the Bridge

Berit is the supervising producer, showrunner, and script supervisor

Ian is the audio producer, sound designer, and technical supervisor

The writers’ room consists of Berit, Ian, John, Amanda, Chris, Philip, Lex, and Linus

Theme and Interstitial Music composed and performed by Anna Stefanic

Illustration by Dean Haspiel

Library Music and SFX licensed from Storyblocks

“The HeartFall Song” - lyrics by Linus Gelber, music by Berit Johnson

WEB: www.geminicollisionworks.com

TWITTER: @AlthaarTweeting ‏and @LifeWithAlthaar

Optimized for best listening on earbuds or headphones.

EPISODE SCRIPT HERE!

Thank you for your attention; it is a pleasure working for you.

A Gemini CollisionWorks Production

Episode 31: The Xybidont with the Golden Carapace

August 27, 2021

In which, for the good of his friends, Xtopps decides he has to kick his peanut butter habit, and we experience the horrors of a Xybidont in withdrawal from the cursed legume. Meanwhile, Vert accidentally stumbles upon the Resistance's secret domain, and must choose between joining them, or probably being blown out an airlock, if you call that a choice.

EPISODE THIRTY-ONE
"The Xybidont with the Golden Carapace"
written by Philip Cruise and Christopher Lee

featuring

Chris Lee as Chip Frinkel

Derrick Peterson as Xtopps

Amanda LaPergola as Mrs. Frondrinax, Vert, Passageways Spokesperson

Zuri Washington as Delilah "Dee" Mallory, Rooty

Ivanna Cullinan as Commander Mindy Torianna, Foog Guard 2, Resistance Soldier

Alyssa Simon as Lieutenant-Commander Frallen-Br'ar, Foog Guard 1, Resistance Soldier

Eli Ganias as Hardyfox "H.F." Fornes

John Amir as John B, Michael BufferBot

Berit Johnson as Althaar, Sopon, Byroxidana, Resistance Soldier

with

Linus Gelber: StalinBot, Rubaganthi in the Audience, Timothy LearyBot, Q'Putrous

Philip Cruise: Tiny Bill Tremaine, TV Announcer, Q'Voglint

Fred Backus: Ewan McGregorBot, Howard CosellBot, Oakensarx

Ian W. Hill: Announcer, Schlooma, Mr. Peanut, Bridge Crew

Olivia Baseman: Amber on the Bridge, J'Bollont

Jessica Stoya: Voussh, Bridge Crew

Anna Stefanic: Stella Reyes, Resistance Soldier

Holly Pocket McCaffrey: Miss Sophie, Hutavarova, Bridge Crew

Lex Friedman: Bubbles, Deborah, Joanna JedrzejczykBot

Theme and Interstitial Music composed and performed by Anna Stefanic

Illustration by Dean Haspiel
Library Music and SFX licensed from Storyblocks

WEB: www.geminicollisionworks.com
TWITTER: @AlthaarTweeting ‏and @LifeWithAlthaar
Optimized for best listening on earbuds or headphones.

Entire Production © 2021 Gemini CollisionWorks

EPISODE SCRIPT HERE!

Thank you for your attention; it is a pleasure working for you.

A Gemini CollisionWorks Production

Episode 30: The Union Forever

August 13, 2021

In which the various groups and people of the Fairgrounds opposed to the authoritarian rule of the Fugulnari over the Humans seek out alliances with other species to aid their cause. For Torianna, this means a most-unanticipated meeting with the Dilurians. For John, it means a history lesson on Robot/Human Labor Relations. For Xtopps, it means a slight return to his aristocratic roots. And for Althaar, it means a surprise visit from some Gendarans.

EPISODE THIRTY
"The Union Forever"
written by John Amir and Lex Friedman

featuring

John Amir as John B, Awkward Fugulnari Teenage Intern, Factotum

Berit Johnson as Althaar, Hilda PetriniBot, Sopon, Kwontz, Gizmorelda

Amanda LaPergola as Mrs. Frondrinax, Robot 3, Vert, Sheryl

Ivanna Cullinan as Commander Mindy Torianna, Joyce

Alyssa Simon as Lieutenant-Commander Frallen-Br'ar, Steve 4, Resistance Member

Eli Ganias as Hardyfox "H.F." Fornes, Pleasant Steve

Chris Lee as Chip Frinkel, Gendaran Diplomat

Derrick Peterson as Xtopps, HECNET Customer Service, Gendaran Diplomat

Zuri Washington as Delilah "Dee" Mallory, Pattorvane

with

Olivia Baseman: Robot 1, Jennifer Tilly-Bot

David Arthur Bachrach: Radio Free Fairgrounds, Robot 2

Lex Friedman: Bubbles, Mother JonesBot, Steve 2, Ruthie the Weirdo, The Most Serene Amplified High Notability, J'Yallen Dwan B'techer Men'Walz, Daughter of J'Bellent, House Byllaburt, of the Grand Duchy of Prang, Gendaran Diplomat

Linus Gelber: Jimmy HoffaBot, Martin LutherBot

Philip Cruise: Christopher WalkenBot, Pauly ShoreBot

Ian W. Hill: Announcer, Winston ChurchillBot, Gendaran Busboy 1, Chompers

Rolls Andre: George-ForemanBot

Holly Pocket McCaffrey: Miss Sophie, Gendaran Busboy 2, Gendaran Diplomat

Fred Backus: Big Steve, Zabriskie Two

Anna Stefanic: Stella Reyes, Steve 3

Leila Okafor: Dr. Mwangi

Clara Francesca: Roohand

Theme and Interstitial Music composed and performed by Anna Stefanic

EPISODE SCRIPT HERE!

Thank you for your attention; it is a pleasure working for you.

A Gemini CollisionWorks Production

Episode 29: And That’s the Way It Is

July 30, 2021

In which the documentary on the Fugulnari occupation of the Fairgrounds is broadcast, and all of the residents who hoped it would show the truth of what is happening there are indeed amazed at what can be done in post. Meanwhile, with most of the station distracted by the documentary, the Resistance attempts to take advantage of a temporary glitch in security to install monitoring devices in the brig, allowing them more direct access to the political prisoner, Dee.

EPISODE TWENTY-NINE
"And That's the Way It Is"
written by Linus Gelber

featuring

Zuri Washington as Delilah "Dee" Mallory, Rooty, Jeff McJeff-O

Amanda LaPergola as Mrs. Frondrinax, Door Alert System
Ivanna Cullinan as Commander Mindy Torianna

Berit Johnson as Althaar, Hitherto Unnoticed Bridge Person, Sopon, Alien Barfly, Cpl. Ness, Kwontz

Alyssa Simon as Lieutenant-Commander Frallen-Br'ar, Weirdo Passing By

Eli Ganias as Hardyfox "H.F." Fornes, Glottulix

John Amir as John B, Human Drinker

Chris Lee as Chip Frinkel, Molto Jeff

Derrick Peterson as Xtopps, Boonarux

with

Linus Gelber: StalinBot, Hitherto Unnoticed Bridge Person's Friend, "Dave"

Olivia Baseman: Amber on the Bridge

Fred Backus: Oakensarx

David Arthur Bachrach: Radio Free Fairgrounds, Thoombon ros Roog

Ian W. Hill: Announcer, Reasonable Jeff, Mr. Table, Astonmartlox

Lex Friedman: Bubbles

Jessica Stoya: Ganglion Ocellus

Clara Francesca: Professor Dodici Gateux

Holly Pocket McCaffrey: Ashlee in Hydroponics, Other Human Drinker

Philip Cruise: Cpl. Dormer, Confident Announcer, Lamborghinix, Definitely Catapult

Theme and Interstitial Music composed and performed by Anna Stefanic

EPISODE SCRIPT HERE!

Thank you for your attention; it is a pleasure working for you.

A Gemini CollisionWorks Production

Episode 28: False Faces, True Colors

July 16, 2021

In which tension, apprehension, and dissension have, if not begun, continued apace. As Frondrinax attempts to secretly guide an official fact-finding mission around the Fairgrounds, doing all she can to avoid showing the Fugulnari oppression of Humans, the Resistance and Commander Torianna do all they can to subvert her efforts, being aided in this by the sudden arrival of a delegation of surprisingly-disturbing aliens. Meanwhile, Althaar receives advice on his concerns about John B from a noted, if exceptionally drunk, actor.

EPISODE TWENTY-EIGHT
"False Faces, True Colors"
written by Amanda LaPergola

featuring
Amanda LaPergola as Mrs. Frondrinax, Vert
Zuri Washington as Delilah "Dee" Mallory, Rooty, Poomie 6

Ivanna Cullinan as Commander Mindy Torianna
John Amir as John B

Eli Ganias as Hardyfox "H.F." Fornes, Charsh, Human Laborer 1, Eukatrox

Alyssa Simon as Lieutenant-Commander Frallen-Br'ar, Piklat Naff
Berit Johnson as Althaar, Human Laborer 4, Sopon, Kwontz, Poomie 1

Chris Lee as Chip Frinkel, Worker, Poomie 2

Derrick Peterson as Xtopps, Second Unit Director

with

Ian W. Hill: Announcer, Astonmartlox, Human Laborer 5, Jerry, Conrad, Poomie 3

Fred Backus: Oakensarx

David Arthur Bachrach: Radio Free Fairgrounds, Thoombon ros Roog, Poomie 5, Archeplax

Linus Gelber: StalinBot, "Dave," Human Laborer 3

Olivia Baseman: Amber on the Bridge

Jessica Stoya: Ganglion Ocellus

Anna Stefanic: Stella Reyes, Another Worker

Lex Friedman: Bubbles, Poomie 4, Human Laborer 2, Harried Departure Steward

Holly Pocket McCaffrey: Miss Sophie

Philip Cruise: Poomie 7

Theme and Interstitial Music composed and performed by Anna Stefanic

"Plants Are Great" lyrics by Amanda LaPergola,

music & arrangement by Berit Johnson
Illustration by Dean Haspiel
Library Music and SFX licensed from Storyblocks

WEB: www.geminicollisionworks.com
TWITTER: @AlthaarTweeting ‏and @LifeWithAlthaar
Optimized for best listening on earbuds or headphones.

Entire Production © 2021 Gemini CollisionWorks

EPISODE SCRIPT HERE!

Thank you for your attention; it is a pleasure working for you.

A Gemini CollisionWorks Production

Episode 27: Life Under the Spreading Green

July 2, 2021

In which we return after six months to a Fairgrounds both very different, and somehow much the same. Life under the Fugulnari Occupation has become a nightmare of new restrictions and bureaucracy, but somehow the Human Exchange Concourse remains running in the same dilapidated way it always has. As Torianna, Frall, and Althaar attempt to thwart the Fugulnari through diplomatic means, Stella Reyes's Resistance fights them on the ground. And John B, caught in the middle as a secret double-agent, must seek out information to help the Resistance while being publicly hated as a Fugulnari collaborator. And how is Dee sneaking her recordings of protest songs out of her cell in solitary confinement?

EPISODE TWENTY-SEVEN
"Life Under the Spreading Green"
written by Ian W. Hill

featuring
Amanda LaPergola as Mrs. Frondrinax, Vert, Resistance Trainee
Zuri Washington as Delilah "Dee" Mallory, Rooty
John Amir as John B
Berit Johnson as Althaar, Sopon, Alien Barfly, Cpl. Ness, Kwontz, Another Resistance Member
Ivanna Cullinan as Commander Mindy Torianna
Alyssa Simon as Lieutenant-Commander Frallen-Br'ar
Derrick Peterson as Xtopps
Chris Lee as Chip Frinkel, Fugulnari Jailer
Eli Ganias as Hardyfox "H.F." Fornes

with

Ian W. Hill: Announcer, Narrator, Rufus, Resistance Member, Larry, Fugulnari Jailer 2, Fugulnari Checkpoint Guard 2

David Arthur Bachrach: Radio Free Fairgrounds, Fugulnari Checkpoint Guard

Jessica Stoya: Susan Torkan

Holly Pocket McCaffrey: Ashlee in Hydroponics, Miss Sophie

Anna Stefanic: Stella Reyes

Leila Okafor: Dr. Mwangi, Fracottiverx

Lex Friedman: Bubbles, Ruthie the Weirdo, Nicklap Five-Arms

Linus Gelber: StalinBot

Olivia Baseman: Amber on the Bridge

Dean Haspiel: The Weasel

Rolls Andre: George ForemanBot

Clara Francesca: Dinorbiax

Philip Cruise: Cpl. Dormer

Berit is the supervising producer, showrunner, and script supervisor
Ian is the audio producer, sound designer, and technical supervisor
The writers’ room consists of Berit, Ian, John, Amanda, Chris, Philip, Lex, and Linus
Theme and Interstitial Music composed and performed by Anna Stefanic
Illustration by Dean Haspiel
Library Music and SFX licensed from Storyblocks

WEB: www.geminicollisionworks.com
TWITTER: @AlthaarTweeting ‏and @LifeWithAlthaar
Optimized for best listening on earbuds or headphones.

Entire Production © 2021 Gemini CollisionWorks

EPISODE SCRIPT HERE!

Thank you for your attention; it is a pleasure working for you.

A Gemini CollisionWorks Production

Episode 26: And You Turn Yourself Around

January 1, 2021

In which the kettle boils over. As the Fugulnari's repressive "suggestions" are given the force of law by the occupied League of Humans, making life on the Fairgrounds even more unpleasant than before, the Human residents and their allies try to find ways around, under, over, or through the edicts, believing still that the occupation may just fail on its own. But it becomes clear the Fugulnari are not stopping. And then the violence comes. And everyone on the Human Exchange Concourse -- John, H.F., Stella, the command staff on the Bridge, the denizens of The Electric Egg, and, yes, even that lovable peacemaker Althaar -- all must decide where they now stand, and what moves they will make in the future.

EPISODE TWENTY-SIX
"And You Turn Yourself Around"
written by Ian W. Hill

featuring
Derrick Peterson as Xtopps
Zuri Washington as Delilah "Dee" Mallory, Rooty
Chris Lee as Chip Frinkel
Berit Johnson as Althaar, Sopon, Alien Barfly, Cpl. Ness, Kwontz
Amanda LaPergola as Mrs. Frondrinax
John Amir as John B
Ivanna Cullinan as Commander Mindy Torianna
Alyssa Simon as Lieutenant-Commander Frallen-Br'ar
Eli Ganias as Hardyfox "H.F." Fornes
with
Philip Cruise: Cpl. Dormer, Sammy
Lex Friedman: Bubbles
Ian W. Hill: Announcer
Anna Stefanic: Stella Reyes
Olivia Baseman: Amber on the Bridge
Linus Gelber: StalinBot
Holly Pocket McCaffrey: Ashlee in Hydroponics
David Arthur Bachrach: Radio Announcer
Rolls Andre: Fugulnari Riot Cop

and The Electric Egg Chorale:

David Arthur Bachrach, Olivia Baseman, Bernadette Cruise, Catherine Cura Cruise, Philip Cruise, Lex Friedman, Eli Ganias, Linus Gelber, Berit Johnson, Amanda LaPergola, Chris Lee, Derrick Peterson, Alyssa Simon, Anna Stefanic (piano), and Zuri Washington

CONTENT WARNING: Extreme Sudden Violence

EPISODE SCRIPT HERE!

Thank you for your attention; it is a pleasure working for you.

A Gemini CollisionWorks Production

Life With Althaar

Life With Althaar

What, No New Episode? Another Word from Ian & Berit

Episode 33: Two Plants and a Booster

Midseason Check-In with Ian & Berit - No New Episode This Week

Episode 32: Luck of the Drew

Episode 31: The Xybidont with the Golden Carapace

Episode 30: The Union Forever

Episode 29: And That’s the Way It Is

Episode 28: False Faces, True Colors

Episode 27: Life Under the Spreading Green

Episode 26: And You Turn Yourself Around

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